and good morning to you too

Nothing like an early morning call from the security company!

Caller: “Hi, I’m from the security company. We just had several burglar alarms sounding at your workplace.”

Me (at home!): “Oh dear. Well, it was probably just the person opening the store typing their code wrong. I can give you the password.”

Caller: “Would you like me to cancel the police response?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely, definitely, no need for a police response. I’ll call the store right now to make sure everything’s okay.”

And this is the BEST PART. I called, and got the opener, and asked if everything was okay, because the security company just called me (at home!). And she tells me that the alarm was ALREADY DISARMED when she arrived, due to the construction workers being there. But she “didn’t notice,” so she turned it back on accidentally, at which point it was immediately triggered by the PEOPLE INSIDE.

The question here is: how do I technology? I mean, the readout tells you whether the alarm is armed or not. There’s a light that’s either green or red, in case you forgot your reading glasses. And let’s not forget that other clue — oh yes, THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

the perils of lemonade

I’ve been waiting on this post in hopes that I would just let it go, but it’s been a few days now, and it’s still hanging around.

Here’s how it started:

Me (excited!): “Hey, look, organic lemonade powder.”
Other Person (rudely dismissive): “Why would anyone want that? You could just squeeze real lemons.”

At the time of this exchange, I was at work, and so was under some amount of obligation to be polite. However, I have prepared a numbered list in response to the question.

1. Because I want lemonade, not lemon juice, and I do what I want!

2. Because sometimes I only have five minutes to make a delicious beverage and I want to spend four and a half of them sipping, not squeezing, and I do what I want!

3. Because it seems wasteful to juice lemons and throw out the rest of it that I have no use for, and I do what I want!

4. Because there are currently no lemons, lemon juicers, or sink for washing up afterwards in my immediate vicinity. There is, however, lemonade mix and a bottle of water, and I do what I want!

5. Because fuck you, that’s why. I do what I want!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.