The Marci Rating System

*placed an order online

*received an order, but it was not mine -- box was addressed correctly, had the correct pick ticket in it, but none of the items were correct

*attempted to explain situation to an online "live agent" (Yael, if you were not a chatbot, I apologize, but you definitely seemed like a chatbot)

*they want the order back, said I would receive a return label via email, and would ship out my original order (tracking number provided)

*I have not received a return label via email

*the 'reship' confirmation email says I need to return the order within the time specified or be charged full price for all items in the reship

*no time has been specified

*OPTION 1: a return label was not sent, possibly no return is required

*OPTION 2: a return label was issued and has disappeared into the ether

*OPTION 3: neither A nor B, but some secret 3rd option

Last November, I purchased a car. From a car dealership. Genuinely still boggled that I managed it, but it turns out that car dealerships are extremely motivated to make sales happen, so after five years of *thinking* about buying a new car, once I actually decided to do it, the dealership pushed me through the rest of the steps.

(PS: I was not unwilling to be pushed. It was fine. The salesperson had some cute dog pictures to share.)

But now I face my next DOING THINGS challenge: the maintenance visit. I mostly want to do it, because 1) I'm supposed to get two free visits a year for the first two years and I like free things; and 2) I guess maintenance is important. I know nothing about cars except that I have one, and that for some reason, you're allowed to just drive these massive safety hazards around with barely any training and very little supervision.

Which is to say, cars make me nervous. Doing new things ALSO makes me nervous. But this will be a NEW EXPERIENCE, and once it's done, I'll have had it, and then I'll know if I ever want to do it again!

Okay, so USUALLY I wake up around 6:30 and turn on the radio. But SOMETIMES I sleep in, and today I learned that at 7 am, the radio turns ITSELF ON, but in cd mode?!?!? And then it TURNS ITSELF OFF at 8 am.

This is boggling to me. It is indeed the SAME radio that I had way back in college (and before!), so it is over 20 years old. And I very vaguely recall that in my freshman year of college, I had it set to turn itself on as my morning wake up alarm, because I remember there was a Christmas music cd in it, and I heard the first few seconds every morning before I turned it off with the remote. (TWO ROOMMATES, YIKES.)

And maybe, POSSIBLY the radio remembers that, somehow??? After being unplugged so many times? Why in the world is it turning itself on and off? BOGGLING.

Since the previous news was: microwave that doesn't work, having no microwave at all is indeed an improvement! A very helpful person was paid to uninstall this non-working appliance and remove it yesterday afternoon.

Questions I asked:

*do you want a stepladder? (they assured me that they had their own stepladder in their truck, to which I replied that it was Very Hot outside, and our stepladder was already inside, where it was Relatively Cooler, and this -- somewhat to my surprise -- led to our stepladder being used)

*do you want some help? (they probably did want help, but also probably recognized that it was uncertain whether my help would reduce or increase the chances of the microwave falling on top of the stove; my help was declined, but politely!)

*do you get paid extra if you do a job where there's no AC? (they do not)

*could we hire you to fix our screen door? (they estimated that perhaps even I could fix the screen door, but they said it more politely than that)

*weren't you supposed to charge us the disposal fee for the microwave? (they were; this likely got us much more goodwill than my offer of help, or even the use of our stepladder)

ANYWAY, I think we were all reminded that I am Extremely Awkward when talking with human beings, but we also learned that our microwave was vented (who knew?), and then I got reminded of the True Powers of magic erasers when I used one on the tiles that we could never reach before when the microwave was installed. Call that a day of learning!

We are now the proud owners of a FULLY INSTALLED CEILING FAN! (This may seem like a small thing, but it was not a small thing. Well, the fan itself is pretty small.)

This epic adventure required RESEARCH! It required TALKING ON THE PHONE! (More than once, even! Multiple phone calls!) It required a NOT INSIGNIFICANT investment of time and money!

But victory is now ours! One (1) day before the Big Heat Wave (aka we're being alerted with an EXCESSIVE HEAT ADVISORY, which is something I would much prefer to avoid, thanks), the electrician has come through for us and arrived to install the fan.

Also a new light in the laundry area. With a pull cord!

So now we have the following powers:

*The fan light and the laundry room light can be operated separately. (They are on the same light switch, why??? The pull cord for the light and the fan remote resolve this issue nicely, with no need for rewiring.)

*The fan will, presumably, help move air through the upstairs. (It will certainly do more than the not-a-fan that was there before.) How much help this provides is yet to be seen, but I am VERY HAPPY to do this science.

*The fan has a colored LED backlight that can be set to rotate through colors. It's a party!

We had an electrician here last week (okay, there were two of them, but that looked weird when I wrote it out -- it was one visit, with two people) and one of the things we asked about was putting a ceiling fan in our upstairs hallway.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, they 'didn't love' the idea. We have low(ish) ceilings, and it's not a huge space. 'Maybe if it was an enclosed ceiling fan,' they said, and I nodded as if I had any idea what they were talking about.

But APPARENTLY that is a thing! Enclosed ceiling fans -- small, low profile, designed to fit in small spaces with low ceilings. I NEVER KNEW. Anyway, I'm going to try to get them to confirm they'll install the one we're looking at, and then we'll see how well it works. (I mean, I feel pretty confident in saying it will move more air than not having a ceiling fan at all, which is the current situation. So hopefully improvement is guaranteed!)

I'll admit it: I enjoy facebook. There's a crochet group I enjoy following, and a couple town groups that have some surprisingly useful nuggets amidst the 'what was that noise?' and 'could everyone please stop asking about that noise' posts. (PS: the noise was fireworks.)

BUT! I don't enjoy getting myself stuck in a never-ending scroll. And no matter how many times I told myself 'I'm only going to scroll for five minutes, then I'm leaving,' it rarely actually worked. (PS: why does facebook think I'm interested in tiny houses? I'm not interested, facebook. Could you show me practical storage solutions for regular-sized houses instead?)

THEN! I finally did the thing I kept thinking I should do, which was to find a firefox extension that would close the tab for me. Tab Sleep Timer Fix by Mitch Crane has been ideal. When I open facebook, I open up the extension too, and set it for a few minutes. When the timer runs out, the tab closes.

I LOVE IT. When I'm scrolling, the activation energy required to keep scrolling is soooooo tiny compared to the energy required to stop scrolling and close the tab. (What if the next post is a cute cat picture??? Maybe I should just check...) But when the tab closes on its own, the energy required to open it up again feels like a lot compared to doing almost anything else.

None of my 2024 resolutions were 'improve my online experience,' and yet it has indeed been improved. Thanks, Tab Sleep Timer Fix by Mitch Crane!

*woke up this morning, no internet (well, small internet on phone: yes! big internet on computer: no!)

*check app that's supposed to say what's wrong with internet: app says it needs update

*update app: app says internet is fine, and I should connect devices so they can use it

*devices say no internet network exists to connect to

*turn off devices

*turn on devices

*no internet

*cry a little

*app says if I'm REALLY SURE, I can restart my connection, but it could take TWELVE MINUTES

*I'm really sure

*app says IN THAT CASE, go unplug the device, wait 30 seconds, and plug it back in; maybe it will work after that!

*me: flashbacks to sixth grade and having the Encarta game freeze the computer while I was supposed to be researching: oooookay

*while waiting for the device to turn back into a good robot (the light goes from red to yellow to green to blue; shoutout to Star Trek Lower Decks!), use small internet to look up 'xfinity says I'm connected'

*learn that "Power Cycling" is the fancy name for 'turn it off and turn it back on'

*internet is restored, hallelujah!

Me: oh wow, somehow I never realized that you can tap the humidity measure on the weather app and see the predicted humidity over the next week, just like with the temperature! neat! what's it going to be like? nicer???

Me: [views predicted humidity]

Me: ...

Still Me: ...

Me: okay, you know what, lil' bit of regret about doing that, because I think I might have preferred just imagining the future

Things to do while A03 is down:

*make listicle posts about what to do while A03 is down

*the aforementioned weeping, gnashing of teeth, etc

*moment of thanks for the fact that it's not *usually* down

*be extra careful not to close any fics you might happen to have already open in tabs that you were saving for later -- their time has come!

*I guess grocery shopping? and then work?