I can't even.

For reasons that are unknown to me, my workplace sent all employees a box of stuff last week that included a digital thermometer. The thermometer caught my eye right away, because the front of the package includes the bold (and slightly unsettling) slogan: "Your Wellness Our Desire.".

And then there's the back of the package, which spends three lines declaring:
(very bold font) MADE IN CHINA
(slightly smaller font) MADE USING GERMAN TECHNOLOGY
(even smaller, italicized script font) German technology

The text on the package and user guide is clearly translated into English from some other language, and mostly very well. (I learned a new word! "Coarctate," which the internet assures me is a real word and means 'pressed close together.')

Still, it's weird that there's no bar code (or statement that it's not for individual resale -- is that just a United States thing?). And that there's no brand name or company name or method of contact -- not even in the '1 Year Warranty' section, which seems kind of sketchy, since how would you even use the warranty with no way to contact the company???

But the PRIZE has to be awarded to the diagrams showing "WRONG MEASUREMENT METHOD AS FOLLOWS." Under the statement "Themometer is not in proper place," there is a picture of what genuinely appears to be the thermometer *stabbed into someone's bicep.* (I...could be wrong? It's a very small diagram. But I'm not sure what else it could be!)

I mean, the good news is, this thermometer is focused on safety first! Don't stab yourself with it -- very good advice!