so me

Oct. 17th, 2017 06:55 am
marcicat: (stripey cat)
other person: "Bringing a positive mindset to everything is so important! I'd like for you to be more positive, because it's changed my life so much!"

me: "Wow, sounds great!"

also me: [immediately plans entire 50,000 word nanowrimo novel about how important it is to recognize and respect the "negative" emotions and how dangerous it is to ignore them]
marcicat: (agh a monster)
We do a lot of icebreaker questions at my workplace. Not entirely sure why; some people really like them, and keep the tradition going, I guess.

(Even though I secretly suspect it is a waste of time, it is a waste of *paid* time, and if the company wants to pay me to talk about how the movie 'Next' confused me because I thought Jessica Biel was Nicholas Cage's secret daughter, which made their romantic relationship come totally out of left field for me, I'm cool with that.)

Anyway. Yesterday a question comes up that's basically 'if you could always escape one criminal charge for your whole life, what would you pick.' I'm thinking speeding, right? Because A) it seems like it would genuinely be handy, and B) it is a super safe thing to admit at work. Like, if you have to admit to a crime at work, speeding is a good one. (Unless maybe you work in trucking? Or some other safe driving oriented career? I do not know those worlds. Please don't take my advice about admitting crimes at work.)

But then! Then the person next to me says: murder. WHAT IN THE WORLD. I am still boggling over this.

I feel like there is more to say, but just -- boggled. WHO SAYS THAT.
marcicat: (blue footed bubi)
Last week someone told me that I sometimes “seem frustrated” at work. (They described this as “a bummer.”) They went on to explain that they had never worked in any customer service job.

I mean, kudos to my past self for keeping it together. Even looking back on it I mostly just feel baffled. Yes, I am sometimes frustrated at work. Customer service is an inherently frustrating job.

But frustration is generally considered more acceptable in a workplace than outrage, a feeling I also feel. And humor — even dark humor — is generally more acceptable at work than tears. (I have actually said to people “we have to laugh about it, because if we didn’t laugh we’d be crying.”) So no, I wouldn’t call that a bummer. I’d call it a survival strategy.

[On an unrelated note, last night I dreamed that the world was maybe ending. I decided the first thing I would do was call family members, and the second thing was to fill up containers of water. Good call, dream self! Stay in touch, and stay hydrated — good life advice in general.]
marcicat: (badger travel)

This is pretty much how my brain always works when I’m doing something (anything, really, but it’s much more noticeable when it’s something new):

1. “Oh yeah, I got this.”

2. “Definitely don’t have this. What was I thinking?”

3. “This is going to be awesome!”


5. repeat, on infinite loop

I mean, the good thing about it is that because it’s so predictable, I can usually work with it and/or let it run in the background, while I do other stuff. Plus the odd numbers feel great.

Onwards with Adventure Week!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (superhero rainbow shirt)

You know when your feet hurt, and you think ‘do I need to rest them, or do I need to move them?’

And then you maybe do some googling, and you think ‘okay, so either I’m fine, or I’m dying, thanks a lot, google.’

And then maybe there’s some more googling, and you maybe try a combination of resting and moving, and you think ‘I wish I hadn’t started paying so much attention to my physical self, because now I’m noticing all sorts of physical discomforts that I was happily ignoring before.’

And finally you just tell yourself ‘ah, what the heck.’

In conclusion: it’s time to go run/walk/climb/bounce at the Insane Inflatable 5K!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (badger roses)

I’m at that point of the month when I’m startled *both* by how much of it has already passed and how much is left. It’s the 22nd! But there’s still more than a whole week to go!

(Part of it is the weekends, I think. July has five full weekends, which hasn’t happened since April and won’t happen again till December, and it makes the month feel extra long.)

Anyway, it’s weekend #4, so I guess I should figure out what I’m doing with it!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.


Jul. 18th, 2017 08:34 am
marcicat: (superhero rainbow shirt)

You know that funny meme that I can’t find right now about the bird that wakes up and thinks ‘what a beautiful day — you know what would make it even better? SCREAMING’

Not only is that a perfect description of my own personal feelings about today, it also matches what the actual birds outside my window are doing!


[Note: This led to a fascinating google thread about why parrots scream, and — if one is to extrapolate to one’s own self — I should follow this simple advice: 1) give myself rewards when I’m not screaming; 2) make sure to touch base frequently with my flock so I know they haven’t gone off without me; 3) identify frightening things in my environment and deal with them as needed; 4) if all else fails, cover myself with a blanket and go back to sleep.]


Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (superhero rainbow shirt)

Not even sure what to make of this one. We typically have a team meeting every Wednesday, which is great, fine, good plan. Gets everyone on the same page. I’m for it.

And once a month or so that meeting includes a guest speaker who makes more money than us talking about whether or not the company is making money. (Spoiler alert: the answer is unfailingly ‘things look good, but not so good that we’re making any promises, so if you could work harder, that’d be great.’)

But *this* week, there are no meeting rooms available in our building for Wednesday. And our scheduled guest speaker is busy. Did we reschedule the meeting to a different day? Did we carefully evaluate whether it was worthwhile to review this information a mere three weeks before we are going to have a company-wide meeting to review it again?

Nope. Instead, our entire team is going to drive to a different building and meet with a different person to review the same information. I mean, okay, but why? In the classic words of ‘Meet The Robinsons,’ “I’m just not sure how well this plan was thought through.”

[“I have a big head, and little arms.”]

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (polar bear)

I have been confusing dates all week. What month is this? What year is it?

*This morning I tried to find more information on registering for an event, only to realize (after an embarrassingly long time) that it happened back in 2015.

*Yesterday, I was baffled by why we would be receiving 100+ orders “this week” that were meant to ship in September — finally I figured out that “this week” was part of a calendar event invite *in* September.

I blame the weirdness of the upcoming non-three-day-weekend. My brain thinks ‘holiday weekend!’ and then immediately goes ‘but I’m working Monday?!’ and then ‘but not Tuesday?!?!’ and boom, confusion loop.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (cookies)

Last night I dreamed about tidying, and also my plants. I mean, my dream!plants were pretty neat, but it turns out dream!me also is bad at watering properly.

That’s got nothing to do with work, but it *is* Thursday, and I *am* going to work, and I didn’t feel like I had much else to say, so the dream thing kind of snuck in there.

I also dreamed there was a bird in my room, and actually woke up enough to think ‘wait, there isn’t really a bird in here, right?’ (Not to worry, it was outside. Or possibly imaginary; it’s not like I woke up all the way to check.)

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: stress out and throw vase (stress out and throw vase)

Okay, so last summer was all about the drought, and I think I over-adapted to drought conditions, because I am still seriously confused by what to do with all this humidity.

Me: “It’s 68F degrees, a beautiful cool morning!”

Also me: “…And yet I’m sweating and every time I move I feel like I need to lie down and take a break.”

Me: “But I can see the leaves moving from the breeze! It’s so nice out!”

Also me: “Except that everything is damp and this is awful.”

Basically I have no idea what to do with this weather. A special apology to all my plants; I really am trying my best.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: drama llama (drama llama)

Given these two factors:

1. My workplace may or may not be moving an additional 30 minutes further away.

2. My job may or may not be slowly driving me around the bend.

I am currently looking at other options. Sadly, rich eccentric is still off the table. However:

1. Job hunting is basically awful.

2. It turns out I actually think *every* employer is willing to screw over their employees, I just think some of them do it more deliberately than others.

On the plus side, the sun is finally coming out after two days of rain, which is:

1. Astonishingly beautiful.

2. Hopefully going to provide a bonus mood bump.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: xkcd grownups (xkcd grownups)

Things I have done while trying to figure out what to post today:

1. read a Supergirl fic

2. checked tumblr

3. checked facebook

4. read a chapter update on a WIP Avengers AU fic

5. deleted three ad emails

6. made my bed

7. took my vitamins

8. checked the directions for my walking adventure today

9. moved the plants back into the sun

10. read an article about grocery stores

At this point it’s basically a life strategy. Plan to do something, procrastinate, get bored with procrastinating, get some other stuff done, write about procrastinating, call it a day.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (kashmir mountain goat)

At the end of this week I’ll be trying again to interview my way into a new role at work. We’ll see what happens!

(PS: I am always slightly suspicious when people say they love their jobs. I love my cat. I love my family. I love that feeling of waking up all cozy in the morning on a day when you know you have nothing planned. Work is different. Work is work. I’ve chosen to do my job based on a range of considerations, and in comparison to other currently available alternatives, I am pleased enough with the situation to continue showing up, and to try to transition within the same company rather than leaving.)

(PPS: I feel like the “job as vocation” vibe somewhere along the way got conflated with “you’re not allowed to complain about compensation or working conditions, because that would indicate you’re doing this for some kind of crass commercial reasons rather than the love of the job.” Surprise! I *AM* doing this for crass commercial reasons! Those may not be the only reasons, but they’re definitely a part of it. And I wish we could talk about that as a component of work, and I don’t understand why I have to pretend that I’ve had an immense passion for spreadsheets ever since I was five to be considered for a job.)

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (badger stream)

Things I have googled while trying to decide what to post today:

1. long-term weather forecast

2. my daily horoscope

3. knife sharpening

4. toe length personality traits

5. does it use electricity if you have the light switch turned on, but the light turned off

So at this point, I’m just going to leave it there before it winds up being time to leave for work and I’m still rambling around the interwebs in my pajamas.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (badger bali)

Last night I dreamed that I was driving, and a warning light came on in my car. It was a whale. I have so many questions.

The symptoms of the Whale Warning Light seemed to be very poor acceleration while driving forward, and the brakes only working while driving in reverse. (What? As symbolism goes, that doesn’t even make sense!)

So I parked in an empty lot, but every book I thought was my car’s owners manual turned into a book about art when I opened it.

Message for today: beware of whales, and maybe art?

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (freakout squirrel)

Work is so weird right now, IDEK.

“You know those days when you’re like this might as well happen. Our adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
-John Mulaney

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marcicat: xkcd grownups (xkcd grownups)

When I was in middle school (maybe eighth grade?), there was a time when it was a gray and rainy day and students were complaining, and a teacher said to us:

“I don’t let the weather affect my mood.”

(In retrospect, I’m pretty sure that was a lie.) But I remember rejecting it as a bad idea even then, when I believed them. Because sure, when it’s been raining for three days and I feel like crap and want to crawl into a blanket nest and never come out, it can be tough to get other stuff done even when I really want to.

But when I step outside on a sunny day, and the breeze ruffles my hair and the birds are singing and I can feel my spirits lift up with joy? Yeah, I wouldn’t trade that.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (cookies)

I’ve run out of bread. (Okay, I ran out of bread on Tuesday.) Which is not a huge deal — I could easily go get more bread. But I had planned to go grocery shopping on Friday, and yesterday it didn’t seem like a issue because I didn’t have any bread plans anyway, and today it seems silly to go to the store if I’m just going again tomorrow.

I could just do all the shopping today, if I knew what I wanted to make this weekend to take to work for lunches next week. Alas, I have been undecided on that question for days. (I’ve been hoping for a flash of inspiration to strike. So far, nothing.)

On the other hand, I have Triscuits. So I’m pretty sure I can procrastinate on this issue for another day, and make it Friday’s problem as planned.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

marcicat: (puffin)

At various points already today, I have asked myself ‘What am I doing?’ With a variety of modifiers, including:

1. …in the next ten minutes

2. …today

3. …with my life

4. …thinking I can keep these plants alive

5. …in this weather

6. …with this pasta

Unfortunately the answer to all of those so far has been ‘I have no idea.’ Unsurprisingly, staring at the internet for 45 minutes hasn’t actually clarified anything. I think I’ll switch to wandering around for a while (a process I optimistically call ‘tidying up’).

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.


marcicat: purple (Default)

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