workaday Thursday
Jan. 8th, 2026 07:26 amUnhelpful or inadvisable things I managed NOT to say at work this week! (Giving myself a gold star and a hug, thx.)
Coworker: 'This is so stressful.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'Have you considered reading fanfiction on your phone to relax?'
***
Coworker: 'This is a list of all the upcoming projects.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'I mean, there's a good chance at least half of them will fail, so that'll really reduce the work load.'
***
Coworker: 'Please review the process I drafted and provide feedback.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'The process is fine, but no one is going to follow it, and there will be no consequences. Are you new here?' (Spoiler: they are new.)
***
Coworker: 'This is Daniel.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'Right, we've met.' (And it's a GOOD THING I didn't say that, because it turned out I've met a DIFFERENT Daniel. Why are there THREE DANIELS at work right now???)
Coworker: 'This is so stressful.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'Have you considered reading fanfiction on your phone to relax?'
***
Coworker: 'This is a list of all the upcoming projects.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'I mean, there's a good chance at least half of them will fail, so that'll really reduce the work load.'
***
Coworker: 'Please review the process I drafted and provide feedback.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'The process is fine, but no one is going to follow it, and there will be no consequences. Are you new here?' (Spoiler: they are new.)
***
Coworker: 'This is Daniel.'
THING I DIDN'T SAY: 'Right, we've met.' (And it's a GOOD THING I didn't say that, because it turned out I've met a DIFFERENT Daniel. Why are there THREE DANIELS at work right now???)