Hawaii 5-0 quotes (the one with the honeymoon serial killer)

This episode was… I don’t even know how to describe it, but it was fun. It was the Danny & Steve Hour, for sure.

We got our second ‘babe,’ courtesy of Danny:
“Wait a minute — your mother in law came all the way from England and stayed for two days?”
“No, no, I checked her into the Holiday Inn after two days. It was me or her, babe.”
-Steve, Danny

We figured out what the team should get Kono for Christmas:
“This room alone is bigger than my whole apartment.”
“The trunk of my car is bigger than your apartment.”
“Oh, thanks for reminding me.”
-Kono, Chin

We got randomness from Max (oh, and he solved the crime, too):
“So you work with dead bodies all day, and your hobby is dead bodies?”
“I also make pickles. It’s a good way to reuse old specimen jars.”
-Kono, Max

And we got these:

THE PROBABLE CAUSE CONVERSATION
“Whoa, what the hell are you doing it?”
“I’m trying to open it; that’s what doors do.”
“Okay, first, you can *not* open doors without consent. Is that clear?”
“And second?”
“Second, it’s probably locked.”
::Steve tries to open the door, blatantly ignoring the entire conversation::
“Yes, it’s locked.”
-Danny, Steve

THE RADIO CONVERSATION
::terrible song starts playing, something about sexy eyes::
“Are you serious?”
“What?”
“You’re not going to do something; you’re not going to change this?”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s okay? All right, listen, I know that you have been trained to endure torture, okay? But this is unbearable, okay? This is not right. Songs like this make stable people want to kill other people, you understand?”
::Danny turns the radio off. Steve turns it back on.::
“I think it’s kind of catchy.”
-Danny, Steve

THE EXCUSE TO MAKE DANNY TAKE OFF HIS TIE CONVERSATION
“Please, don’t make me wear flowers.”
“Danny, we don’t have a lot of time.”
“I’m going to do it, okay, but I’m not going to be happy.”
“And take the tie off; no one on a cruise ship wears a tie.”
“Oh yes they do; they do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they’re bored.”
“Okay, well, put it in your pocket, you can kill yourself later.”
-Steve, Danny
(I’m not kidding — Steve takes his lei off practically the minute he gets on board, as does Danny. The tie, however, stays off.)

THE BICKERING TO DISTRACT THE BAD GUY CONVERSATION
“What are you doing? The guy’s clearly a psychopath, and you’re trying to make friends with him? You’re trying to connect?”
“He’s standing right in front of us.”
“Of course he’s standing right there, Danny, but you’re a cop, not a therapist, you know?”
“Hey! Hey, I have been trained for this kind of thing, okay?”
“What, to bore people into submission?”
“Hey, don’t listen to him, okay? His idea of communication is he drops a witty one liner and then shoots you in the face.”
-Steve, Danny

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.