missing the premier line

One of the things we do with surprising regularity at work is call the FedEx premier line. (Just had to google ‘premier vs premiere’ to make sure I was using the right one.) This line bypasses all the voice menus and takes you straight to what has to be some of the most patient and calming customer service employees in the world. (Seriously, they’re great. I assume the company pays for this service in gold bars, or possibly some kind of sorcery is involved.)

But it’s not like I can call them at home, or that it would do any good when I’m trying to figure out whether my Amazon order (shipping “UPS Sure Post”) is going to follow the rules of UPS (will be delivered to the address listed regardless of name), or the rules of the Post Office (will prioritize the name and try to forward the package to my apartment). And, if they do that, will it then follow the Post Office rules and be held for me at the local post office, or the UPS rules of three tries and then shipped back to sender?

I’m sure no one will be surprised that UPS phone support doesn’t have a way to get this information. Nor does Amazon. Apparently my package now exists in a sort of limbo, answering to no one and bound by no laws.

Come on, universe — I was trying to order cat food, not anarchy!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.