more than one five-star review

For various reasons, I've wound up on multiple mailing lists that email me near-daily with information about books and audiobooks -- sometimes I think about unsubscribing, but sometimes I see something interesting that I want to look for on the library apps. And of course, there's the reviews!

(Also, the absolutely random spread of 'number of five-star reviews on goodreads' that get shared. Some books are like 'received over 250 five-star reviews!' and others are like 'received over 5000000000000000 five-star reviews!' and I don't really believe either of them.)

Anyway, the one-line reviews are often VERY funny, because they could be interpreted in almost any direction. My favorite ones are things like (I just made these up, because I couldn't be bothered to actually go back and look for any):

'Reading this is like waiting for a wave to break.'

'The book version of a bouncy house!'

'If I was reading in a field in Toulouse, France, I would pick this book.'

Because I can't tell ANYTHING from those. Please make all reviews as absolutely incomprehensible as possible, for me, personally. Because it's funny.