marcicat | the day has come

The day of the Dreaded Meeting has arrived. (Basically to talk about adding more work to my job, even though it has of course been framed in a much more tactful way. And it's not being led by my boss, but by the boss of a different department.)

I am concerned about this meeting because I am not good at keeping my mouth shut, especially when I am irritated or surprised. My first reaction when presented with unwelcome information is either 1) angry sarcasm, or 2) loud panic. After some alone time to process things, I'm fine, and will figure out a way to handle whatever fresh hell of a process or procedure has been added to the workload. But the initial reaction is not good.

But I have a plan! It's a simple plan.

STEP 1: BRING SNACKS
If my mouth is full of delicious espresso chocolate chips, I won't be able to speak up.

STEP 2: BRING LAPTOP.
This is a common meeting accessory at my workplace, so it will be expected anyway. If I'm looking at my computer screen, any faces I make cannot be proved to be in reaction to the words being spoken.

STEP 3: BRING 3 SENTENCES.
This is one I pulled out for a very hard meeting years ago. I had a notecard with three sentences on it that were simply neutral reaction phrases I could use any time my participation was required. For today I'm going to put them in an email draft, which I can easily have open for "note taking."

I anticipate this plan being assisted by three more simple things.

1. The person leading the meeting doesn't care what I have to say, and so is unlikely to ask for any significant participation from me. If I'm lucky, the 'contemplative frown and nod' may pull me through.

2. At least one of the other people in the meeting is a talker. I'm hoping they burn through a significant portion of the time by providing "historical context."

3. When all else fails, the kitten cabana can save the day. Usually I use this in meetings that have gone past their scheduled end time, to keep me from rage-flipping the table or some other regrettable action. Kittens are very distracting.

IT'S GO TIME.

*************

ETA: Thank you so much for the encouragement and good wishes! The meeting has been accomplished! They were waaaaay earlier in the process than I expected (as in, the person leading the meeting hadn't even looked at the documents in question, and apparently DIDN'T KNOW that the company already has an SOP for this process. It's vague, but it does, you know, exist.) So the value of the meeting was questionable at best. I said more than I probably should have, but less than I might have, and the kitten cabana did indeed help very much. And now we have a follow up meeting in two weeks. (WHY???) But that's a problem for future me!