opening weekend is over, can I write a spoilery review now?

[marcicat]

STAR TREK INTO WTF WAS THAT BUT I LIKED IT ANYWAY!

Okay, so first things first — I can’t explain it at all, but there is something magical and amazing to me about sitting in a theater, hearing the opening music, and thinking, ‘I am at a Star Trek movie.’ (It’s like how some people can sit through all eight thousand hours of Lord of the Rings — inexplicable to me, yet somehow true!)

So I was predisposed to like this movie. And I did! (More on this later.)

But…

1. IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO GET PLACES IN SPACE. Like, you can’t just warp over to, say, the Klingon home world in a few hours. (They would have conquered us ages ago if that was the case.) And you definitely can’t go to warp for not even five minutes, get knocked out of warp, and somehow be BACK AT EARTH. This really pissed me off, not even because of the crummy science, but because of the implications.

2. LIKE THE IMPLICATION THAT IT WOULD HAVE APPARENTLY TAKEN LITERALLY TWO SECONDS TO GET SOME FREAKIN’ HELP UP HERE, HELLO EARTH, WE’VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM HERE AND OUR SHIP MAY POSSIBLY CAREEN TO FIERY DEATH INTO THE SIDE OF YOU, PLEASE SEND BACKUP ASAP. That close to Earth, there should have been dozens of spacecraft around. And hey, how about that massive spacedock where the Enterprise hangs out in orbit? (Spock had time to call New Vulcan, and I get that he wanted to bro it up and get some super!secret intel, but couldn’t someone else have taken that same time to CALL EARTH FOR HELP?) For that matter, step up, Earth — what happened to planetary defense? How could you possibly have failed to notice the massive starships fighting at your doorstep and then CRASHING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE?

Having said all that, I loved it!

1. I could watch these characters ALL DAY LONG. Like, even if Peter Jackson decided to film an eight and a half thousand hour epic of the Enterprise crew walking around the ship, I would watch the whole thing.

2. This movie answered so many awesome fandom questions about the reboot!verse! Is the new Vulcan planet going to be called New Vulcan? (Signs point to yes.) Are Spock and Uhura still together? (Yes!) Are we worried about war with the Romulans? (Apparently not?!) Will there be a five year mission? (Absolutely!)

3. FANFIC

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Comments

[starandrea]

Aaron: And they have a secret warship-building shipyard at Jupiter and no one noticed?
*Andrea: I know! I can see Jupiter from my house!

[marcicat]

Kahn: "And you should paint the ship black."
Marcus: "Black. You're kidding."
Kahn: OMINOUS SILENCE
Marcus: "You're -- not kidding? Um. Okay, black it is."
Kahn: LOLS AT YOU IN SECRET

[lilyleia78]

Those were my two annoyances! I bought the novelization hoping it would clear things up, but not so much. It does vaguely give you the impression that they're in warp longer than the movie implies, but no explanation for why no one on Earth noticed the two starships trying to kill each other near the moon.

Still loved it. Trying to decide if I want to go see it in the IMAX 3D tomorrow.

[marcicat]

IMAX! (Yes, is my vote.)

(I also thought it was ridiculous (but hilarious! and awesome!) that Kirk called Scotty on his communicator from Klingon space. Now I want this to be in all the fanfic -- communicators can call anyone, from anywhere!)