The Marci Rating System

Last night I had one of those work stress dreams, except for once it was basically about my current job. (Usually I have work stress dreams about previous jobs in retail and teaching, probably because they were, in fact, hugely more stressful. My brain's still working on ::gestures to the past:: all of that.)

But last night it was DEFINITELY about my current job, and included such gems as:

*My cat was there! A LOT of cats were there, actually! And kittens! That part was pretty fun. I got to hold a big orange cat and he was very cuddly.

*A lot of important people in the building, and gossiping with coworkers about whether the company was getting sold again.

*The company locking everyone down in the building with these scary sliding doors. (haha what could that symbolize, idkidk)

*The previous CEO telling me that it wasn't that he didn't like the employees, it was just me, personally. (harsh, buddy, though in reality I think he had no idea who I was, which is just how I like it)

And then I woke up with a Big Headache, so let's do this day!

I dreamed about kittens last night, and it was genuinely delightful. In the way of dreams, there wasn't much consistent context -- at first there was one kitten, and then three, and then maybe five? Some were orange kittens, and one was definitely some variety of tuxedo cat, and they were all SO CUTE. In an unusual twist for me, I wasn't even stressed out about the health and safety of the kittens! They were pretty clearly doing their own thing and totally fine. The point is, I got to snuggle a kitten in a dream last night and it was great.

I don't remember much of what I dreamed last night, but there was absolutely something about "carry yourself like you're wearing a hoodie and a crown." (My best guess is that this translates to "comfortable and in charge.")

Was this advice? A critique? I have the vague feeling it may have been an attempt to describe a current trend? (And really, is there a bigger mood?) Whatever it was, I appreciate that my brain gifted me with such an interesting gem to ponder. Thanks, brain!

Things I dreamed about last night:

*being at the dentist

*waiting in line and being tired and frustrated by it

*folding towels

Translating from dream into the waking world, I'm pretty sure this is what my brain was saying:

*sometimes there are scary things, and I can't predict exactly how they'll go

*focusing on the parts of my experiences that are outside of my control is stressful and unhelpful

*taking small actions that are within my control is worth doing and will make me feel better

Many times I forget my dreams quickly, but this one had a certain humorous 'Important Message From Brain' feeling that seems worth appreciating. Good job, brain! Helping out with symbols and stories!

Last night I dreamed about a new Christmas song called "Microwave Christmas." It was one of those 'internet artist songs gone moderately viral,' and I had seen it recommended multiple times.

In this dream, I was back at work after the holiday (in that weird dream amalgamation of 'this is nothing like my workplace yet I KNOW that's what's happening here) and I opened up the song to watch & listen. (Excellent, even my dream self is making good use of on the clock hours!)

And the first two lines of the song went like this:

This is gonna be a microwave Christmas
Where could my Untamed gift be

Sadly, I couldn't hear the rest of it because of various dream-related chaos (including someone getting very excited about miso paste, which is not a food item I've considered for many years). But in the way of dreams, I knew that this was a fun song about celebrating the things we love (including fandom!), and appreciating that the experience of Christmas can be whatever you make it.

(Also that we spend a lot more time watching for delivery trucks than reindeer.) So way to go, brain! That was fun! Love it! Musical interlude part 2 took a fun and fantastical twist!

(NOTE: I did a quick internet search to make sure there isn't ACTUALLY a moderately viral internet song called 'Microwave Christmas' that my brain was picking up on. As far as I can tell, there is not, but maybe someday!)

*Two nights ago I dreamed (and then remembered!) the phrase: "History sees everything. It's what we shine a light on that reflects back." I have no idea what that means. (As these things often do, it seemed very profound in my dream, and considerably less so once I was awake.)

*Earlier this week: very humid, raining, but not hard enough to close the windows, lots of mist and fog, and from somewhere I could hear the 'this is a test of the emergency broadcast system' alert tones echoing. For MUCH longer than I expected. (I had some concern that it was an actual emergency, but the radio was on next to me and wasn't announcing anything, so...?)

*Now it is still extremely humid but also sunny, which is a mixed blessing for sure. (I was thinking this morning that when I say 'it's so hot,' people ask 'well, do you have AC?' As if that solves everything. But in the winter, when I say 'it's so cold,' no one says 'well, do you have heat?')

Last night I dreamed about evacuating people out of a subway station/tunnel because it was going to flood. That has nothing to do with work or my job, but I couldn't think of anything interesting to say about those things today.

Also in the dream, I had a flashlight that stopped working. (Maybe because it got wet?) And I wasn't worried about it at all, because I was completely confident that the person with me wouldn't leave me. And now that I've woken up and I'm thinking about it, I think that's really nice. Thanks, dream buddy!

On Monday night I had weird dreams, but in the midst of the weirdness there was a little moment when I was showing kids a de-stressing visualization exercise. It went like this:

*close your eyes

*make your hands into fists and put them near your head

*think about the things you're worried about

*open your eyes and fling your hands out in front of you (in a victorious 'ta-da!' way)

*all your worries are stars!

It doesn't quite work as well in waking reality, since I don't actually get a pretty starry sky in front of me when I do it, but I like the catchphrase.

Dream!me was very outdoorsy last night — there was even some bicycling in there, which — really, dream!me? Does that seem like something I would do?

Most predictable thing: My dream self completely freaking out because I couldn’t find my stuff. Since that’s exactly what I would do in the waking world, 10/10 for believability.

Most random thing: There were two rolls of wrapping paper, for some reason, and they were basically the width and length of a tree trunk. Why? (I mean, wrapping paper *is* awkward to store, so I guess bonus points to the dream for bringing that up in a humorously exaggerated way.)

Best thing that would only happen in a dream: Bicycled to a park — suddenly there was snow on the ground. And then it was suddenly nighttime. Dream!me was not at all freaked out by this, probably because I had all my stuff at that point. The dream!constellations were very pretty.

Dream takeaway: When gifting something large, just putting a nice bow on it might be the best choice.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Last week someone told me that I sometimes “seem frustrated” at work. (They described this as “a bummer.”) They went on to explain that they had never worked in any customer service job.

I mean, kudos to my past self for keeping it together. Even looking back on it I mostly just feel baffled. Yes, I am sometimes frustrated at work. Customer service is an inherently frustrating job.

But frustration is generally considered more acceptable in a workplace than outrage, a feeling I also feel. And humor — even dark humor — is generally more acceptable at work than tears. (I have actually said to people “we have to laugh about it, because if we didn’t laugh we’d be crying.”) So no, I wouldn’t call that a bummer. I’d call it a survival strategy.

[On an unrelated note, last night I dreamed that the world was maybe ending. I decided the first thing I would do was call family members, and the second thing was to fill up containers of water. Good call, dream self! Stay in touch, and stay hydrated — good life advice in general.]