it's all just so much, all the time
Feb. 12th, 2025 07:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marcicatFantastic out of context gem from a work meeting with my boss yesterday:
"You won't have any goals for this year."
DAMN, TRUER WORDS!
(The context is that the company is changing the system used for annual performance evaluations, and in the new system, only managers will have goals "in the system," because those goals will be linked to their bonus. Somehow. Corporate math is a mystery to me. The rest of us minions will only have goals "outside the system," in one of the other half-dozen "systems" the company uses for such things.)
(This is loosely related to the new "performance matrix," which is a hilarious version of a x-y axis graph, in which -- I wish I was joking -- the aim/expectation for minions is to be at zero. This is because our jobs -- according to the matrix -- don't have much potential to add measurable value to the company's bottom line [the y axis], nor are we able to significantly influence the company's culture [the x axis]. I genuinely could not decide whether to laugh or cry during the presentation of this novel new measurement system. WHAT. EVEN.)
(I mean, it's definitely so that they can classify nearly every employee as mediocre, thus justifying the avoidance of any pay raises. It's also hilarious.)
"You won't have any goals for this year."
DAMN, TRUER WORDS!
(The context is that the company is changing the system used for annual performance evaluations, and in the new system, only managers will have goals "in the system," because those goals will be linked to their bonus. Somehow. Corporate math is a mystery to me. The rest of us minions will only have goals "outside the system," in one of the other half-dozen "systems" the company uses for such things.)
(This is loosely related to the new "performance matrix," which is a hilarious version of a x-y axis graph, in which -- I wish I was joking -- the aim/expectation for minions is to be at zero. This is because our jobs -- according to the matrix -- don't have much potential to add measurable value to the company's bottom line [the y axis], nor are we able to significantly influence the company's culture [the x axis]. I genuinely could not decide whether to laugh or cry during the presentation of this novel new measurement system. WHAT. EVEN.)
(I mean, it's definitely so that they can classify nearly every employee as mediocre, thus justifying the avoidance of any pay raises. It's also hilarious.)
