marcicat | went to the dentist this week

Dentist: “Do you clench your jaw, or grind your teeth at all?”
Me (thinking): ‘well, I used to, but then I switched to internalizing all my tension, so now it manifests as headaches, stomach pain, and a creeping sense of failure.’
Me (out loud): “Nope.”

The thing is, I have a somewhat tenuous relationship with food and eating. Usually we get along fine! Other times there’s some negotiating involved. But for the most part, I’m on top of it, and it’s a comfortable detente.

I was unexpectedly thrown for a loop by visiting the dentist. Strangers sticking things in my mouth: not good. Having every aspect of my mouth evaluated (and seemingly found lacking, because I’ve never met an ambiguous statement I couldn’t interpret as a personal failing): not good. Feeling guilty about everything I eat because it’s touching my teeth: not good.

So that’s been a thing. It’s manageable; I just wasn’t expecting it. So heads up, future self! Stay aware for future visits. You can do this!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.