One of the best things about using duolingo is that I now understand how funny those ‘the duolingo owl is coming for you’ memes are.
(Including that tumblr post where the owl tracks Peter Parker down in the soul realm, because being semi-dead is no excuse for missing your Spanish practice. DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA!)
((She is just Very Invested in the learning process!))
(((Also, there is fic: the cook is bringing the horse, by thisissirius)))
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
#1 easiest to use meme in real life: “Bold of you to assume…”
It’s versatile! It’s subtle(ish)! It’s recognizable, yet doesn’t raise eyebrows for those who’ve never seen it. Sadly this one seems to be a bit of a flash in the pan, at least in the tumblr-sphere. I made sure to use it at least once, with my departing work neighbor. (Humor is a bit hit or miss for me usually, especially at work. But he offered me his stapler, which I assume was a joke since we’d talked before about his love of the movie ‘Office Space,’ so a return joke seemed like a safe bet. And if not, hey, he was leaving anyway!)
#2 easiest to use meme in real life: “Oh, haven’t you heard?”
This one loses some points because while it is easy, you can really only do the punchline. The lead-up is whatever conversation was happening already, so if whoever you’re talking with doesn’t know the reference, you wind up having to explain it, which is just not fun.
[Note: Not sure if I’ve already shared this, but at one point my current boss actually said to me, ‘Sometimes it’s hard for me to tell when you’re being serious.’ And I’m sure I said something as tactful and bland as possible. But the real answer is this: I’m always serious. That’s why it’s funny. Because life is ridiculous, and 95% of the work we do has no meaning at all except what we give it, so why not laugh about it?]
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
It turns out I managed to reblog an almost identical gifset on tumblr twice in the last couple days, which I would feel bad about except I am still laughing every time I see it.
*The gifset
“I have no idea who this is” can now take its place in my memory banks right next to “Am I expected to blindly stride into this childish trap and electrocute myself?”
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
My current workplace is moving — not the whole company, just one group of us, so we’ll all end up closer together.
(In ridiculous news, apparently this was sort of supposed to be kept on the down low? Not from us, but from people calling in. Probably they should have told us that BEFORE the final day of packing.)
Anyway, there was a packing plan. It was pretty well thought out; I was impressed. As anyone who’s ever moved anywhere can guess, this plan was completely obliterated by reality. We arrived to work yesterday to find movers already there. At one point there was talk of dismantling our cubicles *while we were still supposed to be taking calls.* (Thankfully, saner heads prevailed and this did not happen.)
Basically: CHAOS.
(And a special note to anyone considering moving an office. It is Not Cool to pack up the coffee maker, water dispensers, and all kitchen utensils at 9:00 in the morning, and then expect people to work until 6 in the evening without any of those things. At least not without warning them ahead of time.)
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
Here’s a story truly deserving of the subject line.
The setup goes like this: at my workplace, a couple of our products come in glass bottles that we buy back from customers and return to the original supplier for re-use. We collect these bottles in milk crates in our kitchen. Sometimes we have lots of extra empty milk crates hanging around, which gets annoying.
Then the action element: Last week I moved the extra empty crates into our utility room (literally right next to the kitchen). They have been stored there in the past; this was not a new idea. Knowing that I would be out for two days for my weekend, I left a note that read “NOTE: there are MANY more crates in the utility room for bottle returns”
What can I say? It seemed clear to me.
But no.
I arrived at work yesterday to find empty bottles piled high all over the kitchen, and empty crates still piled in the utility room. “Did you not get my note?” I asked my coworker. “No, we got it,” she told me. “We didn’t know what you meant. We counted the crates, though; there are 13.”
WHAT EVEN. I have no idea how to work with this. I mean, it’s hilarious and horrifyingly incompetent all at the same time.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
After last week’s mini tropical heat wave, all of a sudden I woke up today and thought 1) ‘brrr…’ and then 2) ‘it’s now the second half of September!’
Still plenty of time to grab a little summer enjoyment, though.
[photo from icanhascheezburger]
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
Work dinner at an Italian restaurant! You know what that means?
PENNE ALL’ARRABIATA
The Eddie Izzard Star Wars Canteen bit is my absolute favorite, and still makes me laugh every time I watch it.
“No, fuck off or I’ll kill you with a tray! Give me penne all’arrabiata or you shall die! And you and everyone in this canteen! Death by tray it shall be!”
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
Okay, no, it’s still Really Hot. But a video of Hank Green singing about it being too hot still made me laugh!
It’s not about the current heat, but that didn’t impact it’s topical nature for me.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
Since my mind is on viewing this week, I thought I’d put up a reminder that yes, Whose Line Is It Anyway is apparently returning.
Tuesday, July 16th is the day, according to the all-powerful google. Wayne Brady, Ryan Stiles, and Colin Mochrie will all be returning. (Woohoo!)
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
Yes, my “Iron Man Power Bands” have arrived!
AND they light up!
A few thoughts on these hilari-awesome toys:
1. Yes, they totally fit me, because I have wrists like a tiny child. (My wrists are just about 6 inches around where the bands sit.) I wouldn’t want to wear them all day, but plenty comfortable for shorter periods of time. (The packaging warns you not to let kids sleep in them. Awww…)
2. Yes, they light up. It is awesome.
3. Yes, they make noise. It is not as awesome. (Like most toys that make noise, the noises start to get irritating after you’ve heard them for about two seconds.)
4. But! They turn on separately, and only one of them makes noise. So you can actually have one on — lighting up whenever you move your wrist around, which is a thrill for anyone who wanted those light-up sneakers as a kid — and leave the other one off. (It won’t light up, but it also won’t make noise.)
5. They also have magnets in them. (The sequence seems the same to me whether they’re touching or not, but it’s supposed to be different. IDK, I’m not that detail oriented?) Still, magnets are cool.
*****
“These light up. And they make noise.”
“Your point?”
“Yours don’t do either of those things.”
“I’m thinking about changing that now, believe me. JARVIS, make a note.”
-Clint & Tony, Unconventional Rescue
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
For my upcoming work-cation, I’m flying Southwest Airlines — so I went to do online check-in for that whole group A, group B, etc thing Southwest does. Having accomplished that, I thought, ‘hey, it’s been a while since I was on a plane, maybe I’ll check out some of these other links.’
One of said links was labeled ‘Inflight Amenities.’ Which is funny, because I thought planes didn’t really offer inflight amenities anymore. So I clicked through, of course.
Joke’s on me — it leads to a 404 Not Found page. The best part is that I’m truly not sure whether it’s *meant* to be a joke, or if the page is just broken.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
So yeah, I know this is one of those kinds of stories that get told All The Time, but that doesn’t really stop it from being hilarious when it’s happening to you.
At my workplace, we have neighbors. In the way of many neighbors, we get along best when the door between us is shut. But one evening this week, one of our neighbors comes over.
Neighbor: “Is the internet down over here?”
Me (online): “Um. No.”
Neighbor: “I can’t get online, and I need to, because of reasons!”
Me (trying to be helpful): “Okay, so, when you try and get online, can your computer see the network?”
Neighbor: [[confused expression]]
Me (conversationally backtracking): “Are you connecting wirelessly?”
Neighbor: “I’m using my phone! It’s always worked before!”
Me: “I don’t have an internet-enabled phone, so I may not be able to help you. I guess — can your phone see the network?”
Neighbor: “It’s always worked before!”
Me (knows this already): “Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?”
Neighbor: [[expression says: you are a moron]]
Me (peering over neighbor’s shoulder at phone): “Oh my gosh, why is the Eye of Sauron on your phone?”
Neighbor: “That’s what it does when it’s turning off or on.”
Me (thinking): have you considered that your phone might be possessed by an evil entity?
Me (out loud): “Really?” [[wander away so Sauron can't see me]]
A FEW MINUTES LATER (NEIGHBOR STILL STANDING THERE)
Me: “So, did it work?”
Neighbor (hard to tell if facetiously or not): “You’re a genius!”
Me: …
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
I’m not a big tweeter, since there’s only so much time I can devote to online interaction before I start to feel like I should go play outside, or something. But this popped up as a link when I was clicking around tumblr yesterday:
TNG Season 8 on Twitter: Plots from the unaired 8th season of Star Trek: The Next Generation
LOVED IT! I laughed so hard, and granted, I’d been working for 12 days in a row and was up late for no good reason, but still — funny stuff.
They’re all 2 to 3 sentence summaries of potential ST: TNG episodes, ranging from silly to ‘yes, OMG, they so so would have done that.’
A FEW EXAMPLES:
The Borg show up and somehow randomizing the phasers actually works for once. Geordi starts to wear a hairband that looks like eyeglasses.
A sentient nebula chases the ship, which has nowhere to hide, because usually it would be in a nebula. Data adopts a dog, snake, and parrot.
Picard is trapped inside a sentient turbolift. A clip show highlights the most memorable “Picard is trapped on a turbolift” moments.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
I would love to see a conversation between Supernatural’s Sam Winchester and Avengers movie!verse Bruce Banner.
Sam: “I see Lucifer; sometimes he talks to me.”
Bruce: “I turn into an enormous green rage monster; ditto.”
Sam: “Once I started an apocalypse.”
Bruce: “Once I threw a tank into space.”
Sam: “We’re not codependent; we’re family.”
Bruce: “We’re not a team; we’re a time bomb.”
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
actualfax sticker quote:
HUG ONE FRIEND A DAY, AS IF IT WERE A VIKING RITUAL.
I wore this all day. At work.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
I had to choke back laughter at work today at this exchange:
Coworker 1: Phone call for you on line one.
Coworker 2: Yeah?
Coworker 1: It’s one of your *customers.*
To fully appreciate that, you have to picture someone roughly the age of the Queen of England, saying “one of your customers” in the same way one might say “(paint me like) one of your french girls.” You would think we weren’t a perfectly respectable retail establishment, where nearly all of the calls are, in fact, from customers.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
This is just one of those things that should be shared, right? Since I don’t tumbl, I’m posting here:
Vote For Clint Barton: The Sassiest Avenger
(via: gyzym’s tumblr)
[Note: not sure why the preview pic doesn't show up always -- click-through works okay for me. Alternate Link straight to tumblr]
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
I see your angst-filled x-fic, and raise you this: magical were-unicorn fic!
Everything’s Magic, by foxxcub
Author Summary: “Eames is a were-unicorn, and Arthur is the architect unknowingly out to destroy Eames’ home. The rest is just a fairytale love story.”
Eames never believes fairy predictions, as they’re mostly rubbish. But he can’t exactly call a half dozen yellow bulldozers and a fleet of contractors rubbish.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
I have *no* idea what’s happening in Glee right now — who the heck is attending where? Do we still care? But this fic embodied the ridiculous-yet-somehow-endearing thing I loved about the show. Also, it made me laugh, and that’s always a good thing.
A Nation of Two, by novelized
It’s the dumbest thing, but it starts (as all good high school drama does) with Facebook.
Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.
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