The Marci Rating System

I laughed, I giggled, I chortled. (Fair warning: I did not actually follow what was happening with all the plans and counter-plans. This did not detract from my enjoyment.) Definitely a rec!

The Consultants, by thebratqueen

White Collar crosses over with the Avengers in a case fic that is awesome, and features Neal pretending to be Tony’s new assistant (even though he already has one) and Mozzie bonding with Bruce about conspiracy theories.

“Which of our cases was similar to Iron Man and the Hulk wanting us to commit fraud for them?” Peter asked. “Because I have to tell you I’m racking my brain and nothing’s coming to mind.”

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

There were a few questionable aspects to this movie.

1. The title is Too Long. (The full title is ‘Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.’) I cannot remember all those words, and it seems a little pretentious. Like, that’s a lot of title to live up to, and the movie just doesn’t, quite.

2. Poor planning, poor choices, highly skeevy implications of abuse and/or sexual coercion. (Exhibit A: Four people, four marbles! Was there anyone who didn’t see this problem coming, except the characters themselves?) ((Exhibit B: Bakery, 24-hour fast food joint, perfume shop, Bath & Body store — really, the *only* solution Percy’s mom could come up with was marrying an abusive man with body odor?))

3. Highly disturbing visual imagery. If you don’t like snakes, or things that move in a snake-y way (like a hydra), this movie’s a definite skip. (Also, they carry Medusa’s head around. And then end up storing it in Percy’s mom’s fridge. WHO DOES THAT???)

But it also had some very fun aspects:

1. Jake Abel! HOLA, JAKE! I would love to read a story where he did not turn out to be the bad guy in the end. He was *hilarious* in his pre-evil scenes. Loved it!

2. Also loved the concept of Olympian bastard children (and assorted others) blending living in the modern world and training their old-skool powers. (The scene where Annabeth says — totally serious — that she’s never been on a real Quest before, like that’s a thing, and she should totally be checking that off the list. Awesome.)

And then there were some things that were just weird:

1. Pierce Brosnan. The centaur thing didn’t bother me, it was the hair. I couldn’t get past it. Every time he was on screen, all I could think was, “That’s Pierce Brosnan. But that hair!”)

2. Annabeth is played by Alexandra Daddario, who also played Kate in White Collar. Like, at the same time — the movie was released in 2010, and she was on WC between 2009 and 2011. I mean, crossover potential for sure, but really, really, weird crossover potential.

3. Why were the Greek gods giants? I sort of… didn’t get that part. I liked Poseidon’s hoodie, though. (Gee, there’s a shocker.)

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

White Collar “Forging Bonds”
I expected more — the more that fandom has already provided re: the epic backstory of Neal and Peter and Elizabeth and Kate and Mozzie.

Things I liked: baby Satchmo! (of course!), and Clinton Jones. He rocks.

Fic I liked better: Precious Few Heroes, by OnYourMark
The one where Neal’s really an undercover FBI agent named Elliot Donnelly.

Hawaii Five-0 “E Malama”
What’s not to like? It has running through the jungle, and strong women all talking to each other, and Steve talking Danny down from assault while simultaneously building a jungle trap.

I’ve already linked the ep tag, by gyzym, so how about a shout-out to the Hawaii Five-0 Cliche Meme being hosted by angelgazing. It’s a fun-for-all!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Things we learned from this episode:
1. Mozzie is the criminal all the other criminals know and love.
2. Neal is not good at roughing people up. (He’s a lover, not a fighter.)
3. Character development: we can has! (Burn Notice, I’m looking at you! See how these characters change their behaviors and reactions? It’s a Good Thing.)

Quotes:
“How’d you stay ahead of me when I was after you? And don’t say good looks and charm.”
-Peter

“Come on Caffrey; it’s bad for business.”
“It’s not for me. It’s for Mozzie.”
“Is he the one who —?”
“Yeah.”
“You want New York or out of state?”
-forgers, Neal

“Well, he quoted Nietzche to a nurse; he’s going to be okay.”
-Neal

“Get a dog.”
“Can I borrow Satchmo?”
“No, you cannot borrow Satchmo.”
-Peter, Neal

“I have never appreciated your distrust of me more.”
-Neal

“The only options aren’t the law or a con, Neal.”
-Peter

“A music box. Plays a little tune, ballerina goes around on top?”
“This one’s a little more special.”
“It damn well better be.”
-Clinton, Peter

“Good luck with your little con.”
“It’s not a con.”
“Well, technically it is.”
-Elizabeth, Peter, Neal

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.